For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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