Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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