What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
