Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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