I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
