I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
