windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
