Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
