I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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