all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
