My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
