we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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