Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
