and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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