4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
