oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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