Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
