We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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