Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize