It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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