I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
