I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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