my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I love how my cats smell like pot.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
