we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
