he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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