WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
