Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
