What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
