There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize