and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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