That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize