To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
