My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
