Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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