The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My ass is underappreciated
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
