is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
