so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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