Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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