I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
