T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
