i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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