Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
