You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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