...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
