I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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