margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
