I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
