My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
