Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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