I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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