THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
