My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
