Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
