You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
