I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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