Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
