Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
