I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she looked like the before picture.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
