Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
