We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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