i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
