Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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