and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Randomize
